Parenting Plans in Australia: How Separated Parents Can Make Arrangements

A parenting plan can work well when both parents are willing to cooperate and place the child’s needs ahead of conflict. It gives families flexibility because arrangements can change as children grow.

For example, a parenting plan for a three-year-old may include shorter but more frequent visits with one parent. When the child is older, the parents might update the plan to include alternate weekends, longer school-holiday time, or shared arrangements for extracurricular activities.

However, a parenting plan may not be the best option in every situation. If one parent repeatedly ignores agreements, there is a history of family violence, there are serious safety concerns, or one parent plans to move overseas, formal legal advice and parenting orders may be more appropriate.

The Australian Government confirms that parenting orders—not parenting plans—create legally enforceable obligations. Children and Family Law

Why a Parenting Plan Can Help After Separation

Separation can leave children and parents facing uncertainty. A parenting plan does not remove every emotional challenge, but it can reduce day-to-day conflict by creating predictable routines.

A practical parenting plan may help parents:

• Clarify who collects children from school or childcare.

• Avoid arguments about weekends, birthdays, and public holidays.

• Set expectations for phone calls and video calls.

• Create a process for school, medical, and activity decisions.

• Reduce the need for children to carry messages between parents.

• Keep routines stable during a difficult period.

• Plan for future changes, such as a parent moving house or changing jobs.

For children, consistency can be especially valuable. Knowing where they will sleep, who will attend school events, how they can contact each parent, and what happens during holidays can make separation feel less unpredictable.

A parenting plan should not be treated as a tool for one parent to control the other. The best plans are realistic, respectful, and focused on the child’s wellbeing.

The Best Interests of the Child

In Australian family law, the child’s best interests are central to parenting decisions. This principle should guide every part of a parenting plan.

Parents may have strong opinions about fairness, past relationship problems, or who has made more sacrifices. Those feelings are understandable, but a parenting plan should focus on what supports the child’s safety, development, routine, identity, and emotional health.

Questions parents can ask include:

• What routine helps our child feel safe and settled?

• How can our child maintain a healthy relationship with each parent, where safe?

• Does our child have school, medical, disability, cultural, or emotional needs?

• How will we protect our child from adult conflict?

• Is travel between homes practical for the child’s age and school schedule?

• How will we make important long-term decisions?

• Does the child need support from grandparents, siblings, extended family, or community?

Parents should avoid involving children in adult disputes. Asking a child to choose between parents, pass messages, report on the other household, or take responsibility for adult emotions can place them under unnecessary pressure.

A child-focused plan is not always a perfectly equal-time plan. The right arrangement depends on the family, the child’s age, distance between homes, school needs, safety issues, each parent’s availability, and the child’s relationship with each parent.

What Should a Parenting Plan Include?

There is no single mandatory format for a parenting plan in Australia. Parents can tailor it to their family’s needs. However, a clear plan usually covers several practical areas.

Living and time arrangements

State where the child will live and how time will be shared. Use specific language rather than broad phrases.

For example:

The child will live primarily with Parent A during the school week. The child will spend time with Parent B on alternate weekends from Friday after school until Monday morning school drop-off.

You can also include arrangements for:

• Weekday visits.

• Overnight stays.

• Alternate weekends.

• School holidays.

• Public holidays.

• Birthdays.

• Mother’s Day and Father’s Day.

• Religious or cultural celebrations.

• Special family events.

Do not create a schedule that looks good on paper but is impossible to maintain. Consider travel time, school start times, shift work, children’s activities, and the age of the child.

Communication with each parent

A plan can explain how the child will communicate with the parent they are not currently staying with.

This may include:

• Phone calls.

• Video calls.

• Text messages for older children.

• Messaging through a child-safe app.

• Reasonable contact during travel or holidays.

For example:

While staying with either parent for more than three nights, the child may have a video call with the other parent each evening between 6.30 pm and 7.00 pm, unless the child is unwell, travelling, or attending an important activity.

Avoid rules that are overly rigid. Children’s routines change, and a missed call should not automatically create conflict. A better approach is to set a normal pattern while allowing reasonable flexibility.

Major long-term decisions

Parents should also consider how they will make decisions about major long-term issues. These can include:

• Schooling and education.

• Major medical treatment.

• Religious and cultural upbringing.

• Name changes.

• Significant changes to living arrangements.

• Major health or disability support.

• International travel or relocation.

A plan might say that both parents will discuss major decisions in writing and try to reach agreement before acting, except in an emergency.

For example:

Both parents will consult each other in advance about major medical treatment, changes of school, and overseas travel. Emergency medical decisions may be made by the parent caring for the child at the time, with the other parent notified as soon as reasonably possible.

Education and childcare

Include practical details about:

• School drop-offs and pick-ups.

• Parent-teacher meetings.

• School reports and newsletters.

• Homework routines.

• School fees, uniforms, devices, and excursion costs.

• Childcare arrangements.

• Access to school communication platforms.

Parents can agree that both will be listed as contacts with the school, unless there is a safety or court-order reason not to do so.

Medical and health care

A well-written plan can set out how health matters will be handled. This is useful for routine appointments, dental care, mental-health support, medication, and unexpected illness.

Consider including:

• Which parent takes the child to routine appointments.

• How the other parent will be informed.

• How medical records are shared.

• How medication moves between homes.

• What happens in emergencies.

• How health-related expenses are handled.

For example:

The parent who takes the child to a medical appointment will provide the other parent with a summary of significant advice, diagnosis, treatment, or medication within 48 hours.

Expenses and child support

A parenting plan may mention day-to-day expenses, school costs, activities, medical costs, and how parents will communicate about unexpected expenses.

However, parenting arrangements and child support are separate legal issues. Parents should not assume that equal time automatically means no child support, or that one parent’s financial contribution gives them the right to control parenting decisions.

If you need child-support information, use official government resources or obtain independent financial and legal advice.

Travel and holidays

Travel can create arguments if it is not discussed early. Consider including rules for:

• Domestic holidays.

• Overseas holidays.

• Notice required before travel.

• Passport storage.

• Consent for international trips.

• Travel itineraries and contact details.

• Video contact while the child is away.

This is particularly important for international families. If one parent has links to the United States, United Kingdom, Canada, Germany, Sri Lanka, or another country, overseas travel may involve additional legal, immigration, and safety considerations.

A Parenting Plan Example

Below is a simple example of how a parenting-plan clause could look:

School-term arrangements: The child will live with Parent A from Monday after school until Friday morning school drop-off. The child will spend alternate weekends with Parent B from Friday after school until Monday morning school drop-off.

School holidays: School holidays will be shared equally where practical. The parents will agree on dates at least 30 days before each holiday period.

Communication: The parent not spending time with the child may have reasonable phone or video contact, taking account of the child’s school, activities, and bedtime routine.

Education and health: Both parents will be kept informed about school reports, parent-teacher interviews, major medical appointments, and significant health decisions.

Review: The parents will review this parenting plan every 12 months, or earlier if the child’s needs substantially change.

This is only an example. It may not be suitable for your family. A plan should reflect your child’s real circumstances rather than copying a template without thinking.

How to Create a Parenting Plan

Creating a parenting plan is usually easier when parents focus on practical questions instead of reliving the relationship breakdown.

1. Start with the child’s weekly routine

Write down school hours, childcare, sleep routines, medical needs, sports, tutoring, religious activities, and travel distance between homes.

This makes it easier to identify an arrangement that is practical, not just emotionally appealing.

2. List the decisions that need agreement

Create a shared list of topics. This may include living arrangements, contact, school holidays, transport, medical decisions, school communication, expenses, and travel.

Keep the list focused on future parenting, not past relationship disputes.

3. Decide what needs detail

Some families need a detailed timetable because communication is difficult. Others can use broad principles because they cooperate well.

A good plan has enough detail to prevent confusion, but not so much that it becomes impossible to manage normal life changes.

4. Put the agreement in writing

Use plain, specific language. Avoid vague wording such as “reasonable time,” “when convenient,” or “as agreed” unless both parents have a strong record of cooperative communication.

Include the date and signatures. Keep a copy in a secure place and consider using a shared digital document for practical schedules.

5. Review it regularly

Children’s needs change. A plan that worked for a preschool child may not work once school, friendships, exams, sports, or teenage independence become important.

Set a review date, such as every six or 12 months. You can also review the plan after a major change, including moving house, changing schools, changing work hours, or a new health diagnosis.

The Australian Government’s parenting-plan fact sheet notes that plans are voluntary and can address practical arrangements and major long-term decisions. Parenting Plans Fact Sheet

Family Dispute Resolution and Mediation

Not every separated couple can reach agreement alone. Family Dispute Resolution, often called family mediation, can help parents discuss parenting issues with an independent practitioner.

A Family Dispute Resolution practitioner does not take sides or make decisions for the family. Their role is to help people communicate, identify issues, explore options, and try to reach a child-focused agreement.

Mediation may help with:

• Disputes about weekly time arrangements.

• Holiday schedules.

• School choices.

• Communication problems.

• New partners and blended-family concerns.

• Relocation discussions.

• Updating an old parenting plan.

Family Relationship Centres provide information, referrals, and mediation services for separating families. The Family Relationship Advice Line can help parents locate suitable support services by calling 1800 050 321. Family Relationship Centres

Family Dispute Resolution is not suitable for every case. If there is family violence, threats, coercive control, abuse, serious power imbalance, or immediate safety concerns, speak with a lawyer or support service before arranging joint mediation.

When You May Need Parenting Orders

A parenting plan is often helpful where parents can cooperate. But some cases require more formal protection.

You may need legal advice about parenting orders if:

• One parent refuses to return the child.

• One parent repeatedly ignores agreements.

• There are allegations of family violence, child abuse, neglect, or coercive control.

• A parent wants to relocate with the child.

• A parent plans to take the child overseas.

• There is a serious disagreement about school, health care, or contact.

• One parent has substance misuse, serious mental-health concerns, or behaviour that affects safety.

• You need a legally enforceable arrangement.

If both parents agree, they may ask the Court to make consent orders. If they cannot agree, one parent may apply for parenting orders and the Court may decide the arrangements.

The Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia explains that parenting orders can address where children live, time with parents and grandparents, communication, major decisions, school attendance, names, international travel, and other aspects of a child’s care and development. Applying for Parenting Orders

Parenting Plans for International Families

Modern families often live across borders. A parent may be based in Sydney while the other works in London, Toronto, New York, Berlin, or another city. International parenting arrangements need more planning because travel, time zones, passports, school calendars, and legal systems can all affect the child.

If your family has international connections, consider including:

• The child’s primary place of residence.

• Passport storage and access.

• Written consent requirements for overseas travel.

• Notice periods before international trips.

• Flight details, accommodation details, and emergency contacts.

• Video-call routines across time zones.

• Who pays for flights and travel insurance.

• How long overseas visits can last.

• What happens if a parent wants to relocate permanently.

Australian authorities provide information for parents seeking access to a child overseas. Cross-border parenting cases can involve international family-law rules and should be handled carefully, particularly if a parent fears that a child may not be returned to Australia. Seeking Access to a Child Overseas

Do not make unilateral travel or relocation decisions involving a child where the other parent has legal rights or where court orders exist. Get legal advice before booking travel, applying for a passport, or making plans to move internationally.

Common Parenting Plan Mistakes

Making the plan about parents instead of children

A parenting plan should not be a reward or punishment system for adults. Focus on the child’s safety, routine, relationships, education, and wellbeing.

Using vague language

“Weekend visits as agreed” can work only when communication is excellent. If conflict is likely, specify dates, times, locations, and transport responsibilities.

Forgetting school holidays

Many disputes arise during Christmas, birthdays, school holidays, religious celebrations, and long weekends. Address them in advance.

Ignoring practical details

A plan can fail if it does not explain who handles school drop-offs, medical appointments, medication, uniforms, activity fees, or travel.

Expecting children to manage conflict

Children should not be asked to carry messages, decide disputes, or choose between parents. Parents should communicate directly, preferably in writing when conflict is high.

Not updating an old agreement

A parenting plan needs to grow with the child. Review it after major changes and set regular review dates.

Using a parenting plan where safety is at risk

If family violence, abuse, intimidation, stalking, or serious safety risks are present, do not rely on an informal document alone. Seek urgent legal and safety support.

Final Thoughts

A parenting plan can give separated parents a practical way to create stable arrangements without immediately going to court. It works best when it is written clearly, focused on the child, realistic for both households, and reviewed as the child grows.

For many families, the most useful plan is not the longest document. It is the one both parents understand, can follow consistently, and can adapt respectfully when life changes.

If you and the other parent can communicate safely, begin with a written plan that covers living arrangements, time with each parent, school, health, holidays, communication, and major decisions. If you cannot reach agreement—or if safety is a concern—contact a Family Relationship Centre, Family Dispute Resolution practitioner, or family lawyer for support.